I don’t tell you enough-
I don’t show you enough
but, I love you.
I’ve never given you enough credit.
For those days when it was just you and me and Jessi.
We were still so little
And I bet you were scared
After all, how much longer could we, would we make it
But you never faltered.
never defaulted from the strong, happy woman that you are
And we made it.
Day after day
you proved to be enough.
And I never gave you enough credit
And Jessi didn’t either
Because dad was my hero
and I had him on a pedestal.
When the true hero was right at home
working full time
having great meals ready
praying for Jessi and I
and never tiring.
In my arrogance, I’ve wondered how we made it.
How you were enough to push Jessi and I forth.
But I know now
it’s not degrees
it’s not language
it’s not money or titles or houses or cars or vacations that ensure thriving survival-
and it’s facing ever day with a bold determination
you were and are an arsenal of love and strength and courage and determination.
But we never gave you enough credit.
Remember that van you used to drive?
The ‘84 Aerostar?
Always overheating, never enough steering fluid.
We’d hear you coming from afar
and we’d wish you drove something else.
But you were always there
always coming for us
and that’s what’s important.
And when I turned 16 dad bought me a brand spankin’ new car
he was my hero
And you said I couldn’t keep it
that we couldn’t afford it
and I made you a villain
and I kept the stupid Jetta
But today, I know you were right.
And I just wanted to tell you.
we never gave you enough credit
And today, I want to give you buckets of credit
buckets galore mama
Because you were perfect
Because you are perfect
You are the main ingredient in the recipe that is me.
I wish I could give the world a healthy dose of you, mama.
and my, how the world would change
We’d be a happy, loving, strong, courageous, giving world.
And I wish we lived in the same city
So I could have more time to pour those buckets of credit on you
now that I know you deserve them and all.
but you know, life has a funny way
of being a slingshot
pulling us far, far away from ground zero
until the point where we can’t bear but to lust to come back
And I know today is just a regular Tuesday
like any other Tuesday on any other calendar.
But on this any-other-Tuesday
I don’t tell you enough.
I don’t show you enough.
I love you.