Dear Kickboxing Class,
Let me start off by saying, I love you. I feel very close to you all. Every Tuesday and Thursday, we all take part in a rather spiritual experience together. The experience that is Melissa.
We cringe, sweat, curse and even laugh at what seems to be (and is, I think) the impossible one-hour cardio routine that has turned many of you into rock solid skinny people (me, I’m a work in progress).
Most days, I hear at least one of you say: “I think I’m going to die.” Lately it’s been Ryan Todd. But at some point in every class, I too, consider death as a viable, comforting escape to the insane number of squats, knee lifts, uphill lunges, super kicks, dead lifts and those killer butt things against the wall we do at the end sometimes. Teri- I know you know what I’m talking about.
Sometimes, Melissa wears a God shirt. On those days, I try harder…asking Him to help me just make it through this next set of high knees.
I’d like to see God try this class.
There are some of you who make my kickboxing class experience more hmmm, not sure what word to use. We’ll go with interesting. Find your shout outs below:
Dear Women Who Wear Short Shorts with No Tights Underneath,
My cringes are sometimes a result of you, rather than the exercise. I’m not sure if you realize this, but we do a lot of bending and squatting and all sorts of movements that create unsightly views during class and being that we’re all in such close proximity, I can only divert my eyes so many places before I have to just close them. May I suggest Under Armour Women’s compression shorts?They are dri fit and comfy. They’d also make my dead-lifts more enjoyable. Thanks, Bye.
Dear Pregnant Women,
I hope that when I am big and pregnant, I will have the will, determination and strength of you ladies. You are all in better shape carrying a child than I am on my best day. But sometimes, just sometimes, I can’t help but worry that you might give birth during a squat right there on the Sue Herndon Community Center floor. I don’t have a solution to this but if you could, please just take my concern into consideration. Thanks, Good luck.
Dear Salsa Girl,
Thank. You. When I see you in my peripheral vision swinging and shaking your hips as you punch, it makes me smile. And for a second, I forget the pain I am in. Thank. You.
Dear Boxer Girl,
Hi. Um, this is a cardio kickboxing class where we punch the air. Yup, the air. Ummm, sometimes I think you forget that. You punch like a boxer in a very serious fight. And it wouldn’t bother me really except you swing your shoulders when you do it and it is really very distracting. Don’t worry though, I moved and so now you’re not in my field of vision but others around you might mind. Please change the way you punch. Thanks, Bye.
Dear 60+ Ladies,
You are an inspiration. You punch harder, squat deeper and run faster than I. Your endurance is commendable. Not good for my self-esteem but commendable. You make us proud.
More. Power. To. You. I know it may not be easy explaining to your buddies what you do to work out but you understand the value of this class and so you show up and stand on the outskirts (except for the one man by the net who I love) and kick ass. You and your 25+ lb weights and your determined attempts at punch kick combos. You are great.
Dear Girls With Back Thigh Muscles,
You. You are who I strive to be. You are why I show up on the days when the thermometer in my car says 105 degrees and all I want to do is nap in the coolness of my room. You are the masters of this class. Some of you have seen complete body transformations (I am a witness), a couple of you had babies less than a year ago and now you’d never know. Your kicks are high with minimal strain and you don’t mind when Melissa adds a third “last set”. Some day, I hope I can wear the shorts you wear and look as good. Congratulations girls with back thigh muscles. You rock.
I will be unable to attend class for a week or so because I had a biopsy done on my torso and my scar has to heal (7 stitches yikes!). But please know, I miss you and I feel myself getting fatter without you. Keep up the good work!
*Want in? This is where the magic all happens!