Never Satisfied

My life has hit a lull.

(If you’ve hung out with me sometime in the past two weeks, you’ve undoubtedly heard me say this).

I am bored. Worst part is, I don’t know what to do about it. Usually, if I get in a funk (which rarely rarely happens), I can pinpoint just the thing that will get me out of it. It’s usually something simple, like cooking a great meal or a random night out. But I’ve tried it all and I got nothin… This funk is lingering entirely too long for my liking.

For the first time since I don’t know when, I don’t have plans to move, I am not looking for a job and I don’t forsee any major exciting changes in my future.  That sounds so bleak to me.

But why? I love my job and I am so grateful for it. I know that in a time where hundreds of thousands of people are losing or have lost their jobs, I am secure and satisfied in mine.  My boss rocks and I get health insurance. Can’t ask for much more.

My roomate (Heather) and I love eachother. We talk all day, cook and eat dinner together and still want to keep playing. She’s not messy or selfish and she doesn’t have any annoying little qualities. She even washes my dishes if I forget (don’t feel like) to do so myself.  

I have time to run, go out, take trips and occasionally nap. We cook amazing meals and drink cheap wine and play RockBand. So why am I not satisfied? Why am I still looking for something more?

Because I am human. And as Heather put it in her song, we are Always Looking for Something to Look Forward To. We are incapable of staying put and just being.  We are in constant pursuit of the next best thing. Never do we linger around one stage of our lives long enough to sit down, take a look around and think to ourselves, wow, this isn’t that bad.

  By the way, when I say we I mean I. I can’t speak for you but we did talk about this at my community group  last night and this unshakable feeling seems to be a common thread among 20 something year-olds (especially us girls). 

So what to do about it? I’m going to stay put and wait it out. Stepping beside myself and taking a look from the outside in, I know my life is pretty awesome and that this proverbial pitty party is unwarranted. In other words, I’m being a baby.  I’ll come out of this soon enough. I know I’m already on the upswing because I can sit here and write about it and know how silly it is.  Plus, my sister and Kaitlyn fly in tomorrow so I have to be on my A-game. No more time for wallowing (Heather just sighed with relief).

… I don’t have a good sign off.

For Chako:

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (New International Version)

4 thoughts on “Never Satisfied

  1. Matthew says:

    Only boring people get bored.
    And you are not a boring person.
    Just funk it!

    “I’m not sure what the future holds, but I’m absolutely sure Who holds the future…”

  2. teri andrea says:

    i think we should take a trip! oh wait… we tried that already. ha! 🙂

    how about new york? or chicago? san diego? i’m not helping, am i?!

  3. Melanie Lott says:

    You are something else Jovanna Gomez, you truly are. You are poignant and well spoken and honest. I really do miss you…

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